One of those days….

Have you ever had those days (a couple of them or possibly a week) were you feel extremely sensitive, needy and or clingy? I think or at least hope that I’m not the only on in that boat. It’s one of those things that you just can’t explain why it is that way or why you are being so sensitive. It sucks, let’s be real here. It’s one of those things were all you really want and or need is either a long hug, a good girls night with the sappiest chick flick you can think of ( the notebook is always a good choice 🙂 ) , a bottle of wine and one of your best girls. Not to say there may or may not be crying involved, so pack your tissues.

It’s the littlest of things that can brighten you up when one of these days is happening. From getting yourself flowers to having the best heart to heart with one of your best buds or hearing a song that just reminds you that life will be okay and you can get through it.

Thank you  Yuna for the song Rescue because it really helps even if it’s only for a moment.

But you still cant shake it, it gets better but take a deeper look and you will find answers whether it’s letting someone go, figuring out that you have major feelings for someone , or just miss views and family.

I could be totally off here but that’s okay, this is just a thought and i’m going to just take it day by day and see what happens because that’s all that i can do.


No in fact, i can’t read your mind

Have you ever wondered where you stand with someone?  Read too much into something? Pretended to just be friends but there was something more there?

I’ve been there, heck a lot of people have and will probably continue to be there. It’s a difficult conversation to have. You don’t want to bring it up, you hint at it but never actually say anything. With fears of rejection, heartbreak or heartache , sadness, etc, and if you are anything like me you want the guy to bring the subject up. Yes, gentlemen, females still like it when you take some initiative, regardless if its just telling us how you feel about us and or what’s on your mind.

Yes, females need to do the same, however we live in a world were women need to stand up for themselves and go for what they want, however previous experience has lead us to believe that we shouldn’t. It shows us as being too strong, independent, and self-sufficient.  There is nothing wrong with that but not a lot of people have that way of thinking.

However, people can not read your mind, they don’t know what your thinking , thoughts and or feelings. How will they ever now if you don’t tell them?So speak up , say whats on your mind , your thoughts, feelings , dreams. Whatever comes to mind. Take a chance.Yes, it’s scary, nerve wreaking, but in the end it’s worth it, because you will finally now where you stand.

In  “We bought a Zoo” Benjamin Mee ,the dad and owner of the zoo says , “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” So take twenty seconds, ask an important question or two and see what comes of it. Regardless you will be glad you took that chance / risk.

Take a chance, you never know what might happen.

Have you ever had a thought and or feeling that you have pushed to the far back corner of your mind? How about a trip you want to take but it’s not the right time? What about taking a spontaneous get away by yourself?  These are just a few of the things that come to mind as i sit here in my office, reflecting on life and this past year.

A little over a year ago, I took my first “big kid” job. Took a chance, moved 1,066 miles from home, only knowing a few people and I haven’t looked back. Yes, I miss home from time to time. Yes, it’s difficult to make friends outside of your hometown or even a college town. However, lucky for me, I’ve made some great friends , become closer with old friends and have meet some great people during this journey.

I’ve had moments where i feel like i’m back in 7th grade at Mt. Baker Jr. High, shy, quiet and just a bit awkward. Only because I was afraid to put myself out there, which there is nothing wrong with. However, sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind. Now I’m not saying all the time and I’m not saying be irresponsible. I’m saying put yourself out there. Tell the guy  (or girl, whatever your preference is) that you’re hard core crushing on that you like them. TAKE THE CHANCE! You don’t want to be reflecting back one day and go ” Dang it, I should have told so and so how i felt.”   Have the weekend off? Get in your car and drive a direction and see where it takes you. Maybe surprise a friend who lives a few hours away.

Basically, I’m saying take a chance, take a risk. See where life takes you. Enjoy the memories. I don’t recommend loosing yourself completely or letting others influence you to do something that you will likely regret later. Listen to your gut instincts if it’s sending up a red flag,or a caution sign. Move far away from home, go on a trip to another country. Take the opportunities as they come along,because you never know if they will come again. Experience all that life has to offer, you never know where it’s going to take you or who you may meet.

Do you have a Boyfriend? Every twenty year old’s favorite question.

2015 has so far been the year of everyone getting engaged, in a relationship or in the slow process of getting into a relationship. Congrats to all of you and you go girls!

However for me and the rest of the recent graduates, who have just entered the real world , starting our first career, moving away from home, if that’s were our job took us. There is nothing wrong with you. Trust me. I’m 23 years old, living in the central valley of California ( hey pacific northwest mind sending us from rain? Thanks!) with not so much desire of being in a relationship.  Would i like to be in a relationship, yes ,who doesn’t but i want it to be for the right reasons, not just a status.

Recently , i was at a  friends house and the comment was made that a 29 year old female was scared of a relationship, because she had never been in one. I looked at my friend weirdly because she thought that was crazy. I made the comment ” I’m 23 and have never been in a real relationship, give her a break.”

Everyone is different, some girls need a guy in there life, some don’t and some just need good guy friends. There is nothing wrong with that.

Personally, i have never had an “official ” boyfriend, does that bug me no. Have i been in somewhat of a relationship , yes, twice. The first one i broke my own heart because he would never give me the time of day and the second one i knew it wasn’t going anywhere so why stay/ see someone if you know its not going to go anywhere. Do i find myself thinking about these guys from time to time, yes. but i’m thinking of the memories I shared with them. Does it bug me when I  see there name on a wall in the most random town in a state that is thousands of miles from where they live, with a guy friend, yes. Especially when they look at you  confused because they think you are talking about that person when really you are talking about someone who lives in a completely different state and is more than likely younger than that person.

Now not having a boyfriend or guy in my life isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes I feel like it potentially is or that something is wrong with me because I’m not in a relationship. You know what there is nothing wrong with it, it just means that I haven’t either met the right guy, or I’m not at a place in my life to be in a relationship.

However, how do you explain that to all of the family and friends who not only ask you but your parents? Now we all know mom’s are the worst when it comes to asking questions. They want to know everything, and if you even bring up a guys name who is just a friend , she will think something more is going on and get really happy. Sorry Mom , no  relationship status changes or wedding bells from this kid yet…

There’s unfortunately nothing you can do but smile , hold your head up high and say “Not at this time, but I’m taking applications.” and walk away.

Just remember, it’s not the end of the world to have  your relationship status as single. The right guy will find you when you least expect it. You are in your twenty’s, go travel and see the world, move to a state or city you have never been, explore and discover who you are before you bring someone into your life.

Timing is everything. Live in the moment and let love find you. Don’t let the people who think a relationship is important keep you down, just smile and walk away. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you.

Life is like the open road

I recently did a long drive for work, and got to see some of the more open states , in which we really don’t realize how open and stretched out they are. It’s actually quite relaxing and mind boggling.

I will admit that it provides me sometimes to much time to think about things in life, ranging from how I feel about my weight, relationships of any form and where I want to be in life.

Yet at the end of the day, i’m content. I have a great job that I adore, family that although far away supports me with what I’m doing. Friends that regardless of what time zone either of us are in always lending an ear and encouraging word. I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Now there are moments that I miss my favorite view, or being able to drive out to the farm and see the little brown cows that I love so much. Yet, I’m growing up and becoming the person, I am meant to become. Life transitions are difficult, I’ll be the first to admit that and I’m sure other post graduates could and would say the same thing.

Yet, I wouldn’t change anything that has occurred in my life so far this year for the world. I know I’ve still got a long way to go before I’m where I need to be but with the people in my life, I know I’m going to go far. For life is like the open road, you never know exactly where you are going to end up or how you are going to get there but you will eventually end up where you need to be. 🙂



You’re Not a “Plan B” Kind of Girl

This is so true, you are not a plan B kinda of girl. Guys don’t have to shower you with gifts all of the time just at special moments or just because they can. I don’t believe it should be expected nor anything should stand in your way if you want to be with someone. Make it happen as in We Bought a Zoo ” You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” Take risks, take chances and remember everything happens for a reason.

Ashlin Horne

DeathtoStock_Spring7You deserve better than someone who is afraid to commit to you. It may seem like enough for now. You’re just taking things slow. Oh, how I know those little phrases of “one day” and we just need time.

You believe them.
And I’ve believed them.

But you’re not a plan B kind of girl.

You need to know that you’re not the invisible one standing in the back who gets chosen last.

You’re the girl who the team captain will be frantically hoping doesn’t get picked by someone else before he gets a turn. You’re a first-pick kind of girl. And no one worth having sits back and lets those girls wait around.

‘Cause every good man knows that the good ones get gone fast.

He should be jumping out of his skin in anticipation to call out your name and say “I pick you.”

“But he’s…

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I’m in fact alive….

Holy moly a lot has happened in the last month, and I apologize in the lack of posts. I know one of you requested my thoughts on handling valentines day also known for singles as single awareness day. However, before we get to my thoughts on that, let’s get caught up on everything that’s happened over the last month.

Remember my first post, and how I had two plans but wasn’t sure which plan, I was going to follow. Well, I got a job and moved to California! It’s been a whirlwind of a month and I couldn’t be happier about this adventure. I will admit, that I wonder from time to time, if that was the right choice and if I should have gone back to school. However, at the end of the day, I’m glad I don’t have to sit through classes, study for midterms/ finals and don’t have to work on homework.

Okay, so let’s back track to Valentine’s day and how to handle it being single. Last year, I went to dinner and a movies with my closets girls and I couldn’t have had a better time! This year, I was in California for work and got to spend it with great friends/ coworkers. My advice is do something fun , low key and surround yourself with amazing people. I will admit, I sent gifts to a couple of friends that day because I don’t think anyone shouldn’t get something on a holiday. It did the task of brightening their day. 🙂

Anyway, I’ll try and post more often!

Enjoy the rest of your weekends.